Neither Friends nor Lovers

Yes, but everything in between.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

It is being said, that healthy relationships are based on friendships. But what if, you meet your special someone and immediately feel attracted? What if, time and space for building a friendship has not yet been established?

When people start dating, they usually wear a mask. They tell their best and funniest stories, show some pictures of their last vacations and share maybe one secret childhood dream, to get that ‘oww’ effect.

Over the course of dating, when things are getting serious, slowly but surely, the messier parts of our personalities shine through.

All of the sudden, you are not so laid back after a hard work day anymore, but quite frankly, frantic.

All of the sudden, you do not have it ‘all together’ on a Sunday evening anymore, but quite frankly burst out in anger, whether silently or loudly, and claim that actually, this life how it is doesn’t feel right, all in front of the eyes of your new partner…

Friends

Compared to our new partners, we do not even think of hiding our messiness and tears from our friends. Depending on what type of person you are and how you deal with problems, a possibility is to call your friends and tell them EXACTLY how you feel, without any mask, without any second-guessing, you just tell them.

This level of intimacy and vulnerability to let yourself be seen and heard by someone, takes time, trust, and a lot of effort, it is gained.

Now, it can be difficult to let yourself be seen open-wounded by the person you still try to impress and convince that you are a great catch.

What if, you meet someone, and you can tell this person absolutely everything, without being judged? You are neither dating to get together nor are you typical friends hanging out at fairs on the weekend, however, when you two meet, there is a comfort level that is abnormal in a positive sense.

The person, you can sit next to quietly, without saying anything, and it feels absolutely comfortable.

Relationships are all different and all have a different beginning; different expectations and different personalities; different viewpoints and different outcomes. However, isn’t one thing always the same?

Don’t we all want to have a partner we can fully trust with ourselves? Whom we can tell literally EVERYTHING the same way we do with our friends?

That’s a different kind of friendship plus. It’s like, being neither friends nor lovers, but everything in between.